When I heard that the church was asking for stories of forgiveness and reconciliation, I jumped at the chance to write one.  Those of us that call ourselves Christians experience forgiveness and reconciliation daily with God.  Actually sitting down to write this story proved to be much more difficult that I imagined.

How do you tell the story of turning your back on your son?  How does a mother admit that she almost walked away from her first born?  The only reason I can tell this story publicly is because I know it has a happy ending.

In 2004, my son, Alan, told me that he is gay.  I was devastated and not surprised at the same time.  Some how, deep in this mother’s heart, I knew the truth.  But hearing it made it real and sent me on a journey through very unfamiliar territory.

I remember saying all the predictable things: “We won’t support you in this ‘choice’!” and “How can you go against the teachings of the church?”  But I also remember the night Alan sang at the Next Door Coffeehouse, and his father and I chose not to be there.  I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that we were going to lose him that night.  I knew he was not coming home.  I called him after his performance and the only thing I could say then was, “Come home”.  I had no answers, no earth shattering revelations to change my thinking, but I knew I could not lose my son.  Thankfully, he did come home that night and the door to reconciliation began to open.

Reconciliation happened, not only with my son, but with my own image of the nature of the Creator.  God began to change my heart, little by little, showing me the beauty in all His creatures.  He brought amazing people into my life, and taught me the meaning of unconditional love.  Most of all, He showed me that “God don’t make no trash!”

Today I stand proudly by my son.  I am blessed to be called Mama Lisa by a number of people whose family chose a different path than understanding and reconciliation.  I know God has called me into a ministry of showing unconditional love to a group of people often cast aside by society, and sadly, the church.  How could I not answer that call when God demonstrates that kind of love to me every day?

There was forgiveness in the mix as well.  My son forgave me for my initial reactions.  Now I’m working on forgiving myself.